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Consent: Informed vs Implied

I'm very active on Facebook and bdsm/kink driven groups. Lately there's been a lot of talk of consent violation in the community. Consent is in essence the backbone of what it is we do. And in my opinion I think it speaks to each individual's thought process of what consent actually is.

There are two types of consent I want to discuss: informed and implied. Also I will share how each one can impact a play scene between two individuals. You will see my usage of Top/bottom in this blog. No, this doesn't refer to sexual position but simply play position that designates who is the giver and who is the receiver of the actions.

Informed Consent: "permission granted in the knowledge of the possible consequences, typically that which is given by a patient to a doctor for treatment with full knowledge of the possible risks and benefits."

As the Top, this means that you are to completely educate the bottom of any actions that you would like to take and the risks that comes with those action. If it's any type of impact play you should advise them of any bruises or possible breaking of the skin. With needles and knives it's best to know of your bottom takes blood thinners due to bleeding risk. As a bottom, you are not off the hook. In order to give informed consent you should be aware of the risks involved with the kinks you enjoy. This will ensure everyone is on the right page when the agreement is reached.

Personally, I play on the edgier side. I know most people follow SSC, which is Safe, Sane, and Consensual. I follow the RACK model, which is Risk Aware Consensual Kink. To me it ensures both parties are full aware of the risks involved with play before consenting.

Implied consent

"consent which is not expressly granted by a person, but rather implicitly granted by a person's actions and the facts and circumstances of a particular situation."

Now take a moment to soak that in if you will. This consent states that your ACTIONS dictate if you consent to something or not. Personally, I don't see a situation where this would be acceptable in the LS. It's always best to be given a verbal yes when playing with someone. And when entering into a dynamic, negotiating and consent are two important components to success.

A Master once told me that consent doesn't end at negotiating. It's ever constant throughout a scene and dynamic. Be sure that all parties know what's going on and its agreed upon as well.

Yours in leather Unshackled Onyx

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